Dear Ben & Jerry's,

Please stop putting addictive substances into your Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream so I can resume my normal life without craving it constantly.

Yours truly,
-Erica

P.S. That receipt that you printed out at the register after I bought my last pint — WHICH IS ALREADY GONE — yesterday… you know, that coupon for 75 cents off two more pints of your heavenly goodness? Yeah, that one. That was just evil.