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How Writing a Story Can Strangle Your Business

31 Comments

Topics: Business, Entrepreneurs, Marketing

writing a storyI was helping a friend out with her business recently…giving her some advice and coaching on pricing. She is setting up a workshop to teach others how to start a business in her niche. I felt her price for the workshop was too low, and told her so.

Her response: “Well, these people are just starting out…they don’t have a whole lot of money, right?”

I replied: “Be careful. Don’t write the story for your potential customers.”

What Does “Writing the Story” Mean?


We all have a story: a compilation of thoughts and beliefs that got us to where we are today. Where we go wrong is that we tend to assume that everyone else’s story is the same as our story. Case in point: my friend started her business from basically nothing, and wouldn’t have had thousands of dollars to throw at a workshop teaching her how to start her type of business.

But there are plenty of people out there who have several thousand extra dollars and want to use that to create a sustainable income doing something they love. Some of those people will become her customers. She can’t write the story that everyone starting her type of business doesn’t have the money to invest in a workshop on how to run a business the right way.

We often “write the story” for others when we are afraid of doing something. Here’s one that happened to me recently. As you know, I’ve been helping review Profit Instruments. I’ve also been guest posting a lot, and as it happened, two guest posts of mine ran this week on two other popular blogs, resulting in a huge influx of new traffic and brand-new subscribers.

As I sent the launch emails yesterday and the day before, I wondered if I should somehow not send the emails to people who had just subscribed to my list. Here was the story I wrote for them: “They just subscribed in order to receive great content, and the first thing I’m going to send them is a pitch. My long-time subscribers know pitching is incredibly rare for me, but new subscribers won’t, and I may alienate them.”

Wow…that’s quite a story! Ultimately, I realized I couldn’t, and shouldn’t, write this story for them. It may be true that I alienated a few subscribers. However, it would probably also be true that I would lose sales by not sending that email to new subscribers. When in doubt, do what’s best for your business. I sent the email even to new subscribers.

Where Are You Writing the Story?

Are you “writing the story” for potential customers of yours? Are you afraid to send out a pitch for something that’s amazing and would help many of them, because you fear you may alienate a few of them? How about writing the story about how they wouldn’t be able to afford increased prices?

Ultimately, all stories have a root in your own fears–rejection and/or not being liked by others are two of the most common ones. It’s true that when you pitch a product (any product!), some people will complain. But others will buy it. Same with raising your prices…there will be some complaints, but most of your customers will stick around, assuming they enjoy doing business with you and you deliver great value to them.

Overcoming the stories we write in our heads is one of the most difficult tasks in any business. We all want to be loved and accepted, and the stories we write are an “easy way out”–a way to tell ourselves it’s okay to not rock the boat. But rocking the boat, making pitches, and raising prices are what you have to do to run a successful business.

Even seasoned entrepreneurs struggle with this, so you’re not alone. I catch myself writing the story constantly. Once you’re aware of the fact that you’re writing the story, however, you can stop the process in its tracks, recognize your inner fear behind it, and boldly do the right thing anyway.

Where has writing the story for your customers held you back in your business? What are you doing to overcome it? Let me know in the comments!

Recommended Reading:
Here are the guest posts I wrote for other blogs recently. Read them all; they’re all worth your time:

My friends Pace and Kyeli wrote a whole book about how we assume everyone else’s story is the same as our story. I own it and it’s a great read. Check it out: The Usual Error.

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Posted on Friday, June 11th, 2010

  • http://www.youreverythingservices.com Deb Lamb

    Hi Erica,
    You are SO right about this…as always…LOL. It is very difficult to increase our prices and to make that leap. We struggle with what our clients and/or future clients might think. There is a constant battle that goes on in your mind about doing so. There are tons of excuses that arise that keep us from raising our prices, however, just like you said, we need to write our story and do it! Thanks for the nudge in this area. This is something I’ve been struggling with and really need to do.

    Any suggestions on how to tell your current clients that a price increase may be happening? Should you give them 6 months advance notice possibly? Any help here would be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks Erica! Make it a fabulous day! :)

    Deb Lamb
    Freelance Ghostwriter

  • http://www.periu.com Mike Periu

    Great post Erica!
    I recently signed up to your newsletter and find your posts very insightful about the psychology of small business owners and entrepreneurs. I also enjoy how you present your points in a very friendly and non-intimidating way.
    In addition to the mistake of writing the story, many times we make the mistake of reinforcing the story based on just one or two opinions. We write the story that a price increase isn’t feasible. 1 or 2 people confirm this fact and we take it as a foregone conclusion. Its a big mistake to make decisions based on a the opinions of the few, especially from family and friends who don’t always know what’s best for our businesses.

    Keep up the great work!
    Mike.

  • Beth

    Deb,

    I’d give your clients no more than one month notice tops. Two or three weeks would be even better. Just state matter-of-factly that the rates are going up, give a specific date, and say you wanted to give them an earlier heads up than the general public.

    You don’t even need to give a reason. If they ask, then be sure you have something prepared to say. Being natural is key. If they sense you are worried about what they will think they are more likely to bail on you. Believe in your value, and let your self-confidence come across. Know that those who perceive your value will continue with you. Price increases are a fact of life.

  • Julie

    This was your best, and most useful, post yet. How you really make
    money on a blog was also useful. Thank you.

  • http://www.DoTheRightThingAmerica.com Tommy Stern

    If you are selling a product or service that has value, and that is what works, you need to make a fair profit. If you don’t you wont be of any help.

    Your focus needs to be on your client and Doing The Right Thing for them. In order to be able to function all your calculations have to be on and fair, with that in mind you can then focus on Doing the Right Thing and everything will work itself out.

  • http://blog.momekh.com Momekh

    I just signed up to the course you are promoting, possibly for the live webinars with you, and also to FIND the right program for me. but one thing that has totally put me off is the INCREDIBLE UP SELLS that were plain, well, silly. There was an offer for this WP blog creator software for 197 USD or something, and when I clicked on ‘No thanks, I don’t want this LIFETIME opportunity…’ stuff, the next page said that WAIT, you can have the software for HALF THE PRICE!! Hhahahaha, so all those people who took the ‘once in a lifetime opportunity…’ on the first page NEVER got to have the SAME once in a lifetime opporrtunity at half the price?

    Are you sure you are promoting the right product, ma’am? :/

    I am a regular reader of your blog, and like I said, I HAVE signed up already. I don’t want to ‘return for a full refund’ because I want to find a ‘system’ that is more than just ‘how to create a wordpress blog’ type of training course.

    Hoping to talk to you soon.
    God bless and good luck to us all.

  • http://johnpaulaguiar.com John Paul Aguiar

    I think your story needs to hit different readers at different times.

    I like that you stopped and didn’t pitch the new subscribers.. they weren’t ready or they would have gotten the wrong story. like you said.

    Timing is everything.

  • http://website-in-a-weekend.net/ Dave Doolin

    I should print this one. It’s timely.

    Since I’m bootstrapping myself almost purely DIY (it’s a cash flow
    thing in part), I tend to assume my readers are doing the same. And
    is true for some of my readers, as I learned from a subscriber this
    morning.

    But not all of them. In fact, according to her, she and her friends
    are doing the DIY thing because they are tired of getting ripped off
    by posers charging $75 an hour for information that, get this, isn’t
    just “free,” it’s _wrong_. That is, they pay $75 an hour for wrong
    information, then find the right information later, for free.

    There is opportunity here. I can smell it. Now if I could see it…

  • http://www.justnowblog.com/ JK North

    Very true Erica,
    You do have to do what’s best for your business.

  • http://www.sixdegreescontent.com Courtney

    This was a really great post. It made me realize how often I am underbidding jobs assuming that the client’s story is that they have a tight budget. This might not be the case at all! I think the opposite is also true…we tend to write our own stories incorrectly. I went through a health crisis a few years back and wasn’t able to keep up with my workload. Even though I found out later there was a huge reason I wasn’t able to concentrate and follow through, I still created a story of being a failure. I’m working on rewriting that story now.

  • http://www.professionalwebstudio.com/weblog/ Darlene

    Your article is quite timely for me as I am in the midst of re-evaluating my pricing strategy. For me, all I need is one person to say my prices are too high and the stories start rolling through my mind.
    @Mike – I totally agree with your second paragraph.

    Isn’t it amazing how our minds work against us sometimes.

    Have a great weekend!!
    Darlene

    P.S. This reminds me of a story from 4 years ago of a friend of mine who was selling window coverings. She was in a clients home reviewing a quote with the client on how much it would cost for the blinds and draperies that the client had ordered. She was so sure that the client was going to say that the price was too high, so she offered her a discount on the total price before the client even had a chance to comment on the original price. The real kicker is that while she was in the client’s home for this appointment, a delivery truck showed up to deliver a new dining room set for this client’s home. Cost of the dining room set – $20,000. Cost of the window treatments $2,900. My friend was so disappointed in herself for writing this clients story prior to the new dining room set showing up. Lesson learned!!

  • Rebecca

    Hi Erica,

    WHY did you turn off the comments section of your previous article “Profit Instruments Review & Bonus (I Just Bought This Product…Will it Help You, Too?)”. I love to hear other readers’ comments about this product before I decide to purchase it.

    • http://www.erica.biz/ Erica Douglass

      Hi Rebecca,

      Unfortunately, a couple folks came in who hadn’t bought it and started acting crazy. I had to shut the comments down.

      120 people in my group have purchased Profit Instruments, and some of them are already implementing the method. I hope you’ll join our amazing group! :)

      -Erica

  • http://www.tonyteegarden.com Tony Teegarden

    What an amazing post Erica!

    I can assure you not only have I lived the “story” but I’ve written about it a lot as well.

    The old parable of the two dogs are inside you, one is the mean dog and one is the happy dog. The mean dog is trying to fight the happy dog every day.

    Which one will win?

    The one we feed the most!

    What story are we telling ourselves is either going to support what we say we desire or it won’t so be conscious what you’re feeding your inner dog.

    You hit on some key human needs Erica like the need to be liked (Love & connection) which is why we (me) is still scared at times to push publish on my stuff! (Or selling)

    Loved the post and yes it’s timely for me as I’m working on my paid products.

  • http://RockstarGuideBooks.com MJ Schrader

    How funny… the same day I have someone tell me I should cut my prices in half, and write an article, I find you wrote an article about pricing as well. http://rockstarguidebooks.com/price-price-business.html

    But it is very true. We cannot ass-u-me that our story applies to someone else. While there are people struggling to start a business there are people with money. While some do not like ads others like knowing about good products!

    Thank you again for a wonderful article it helps me feel more confident as well.
    ~MJ

  • http://easypublicspeaking.co.uk/ Keith Davis

    Hi Erica
    “..we tend to assume that everyone else’s story is the same as our story.”
    How true that is but I’d never thought of it like that.

    I usually talk things over with my wife, who looks at life differently to me.
    Guess that means that her stories are nothing like mine so we get a balanced view.

    Will take a look at your recommended reading links.

  • Stew

    Hi Erica,
    An accurate observation on how we project our assumptions and fears onto somebody else. Why market to the marginal?

    If you believe in the value of your product, charge what it is worth. You should be prepared to hear some “no’s”. If the value is there the “yes’s” will outweigh them.

  • http://www.AbelTravis.com Abel Travis

    Erica,

    Good post. I do find it true as a business owner you must do whats right for your business, else if you write the story for your business/customers you may miss out on possible opportunities. I found when I first started my company LogixTv I used to short change myself by targeting customers that would pay the $150 a month rate to advertise. As time went on, I kept that rate because I thought no one would pay more for the service. It cost more time, etc, but after a while, I started targeting more of the higher paying customers as I realized what I was previously doing was not best for business and growth. Anyway, as always, good post. Look forward to reading others.

  • Ronny

    Great article, and yes, after thinking about it, I think this is one of my biggest hurdles in my budding entrepreneurship, need to adress this for sure. So thanks for making me avare of it :-)

  • Jay

    Erica,

    I got another email from you last night about Profit Instruments and I have to say it kind of bothered me. You shut down the comments on your post about it because a couple of people were asking questions about it and doubting its legitimacy. But you never really addressed their concerns. Why is it that you won’t give a more specific example of how you are using the tool? I think people (myself included) want to believe it, but several people pointed to multiple ways that it appears to be just a money grab. I actually have no problem with the fact that you make around $90 for each person that buys through your link – good for you. I just think it would be better if you could explain it in a little more detail. There were legitimate concerns about Ritoban makes money with the system and I don’t believe those have been addressed.

    I’m sorry to have to write my comment on this blog post, but I did want to see what other readers of your site thought, and the comments on the original thread are turned off.

    I’ll look forward to your reply – I really am interested in the tool. Thank you! And as always, thank you for this insightful post, I think it will prove quite useful for me.

  • http://www.erica.biz/ Erica Douglass

    Hi:

    Comments regarding Profit Instruments don’t belong in this post. “Jay”, I tried to follow up with you, but you didn’t put a valid email address in. I’m responding to 50+ emails a day regarding Profit Instruments; please feel free to email me and I’ll help you. Thanks!

    -Erica

  • http://www.intuitivewu.com Alex Wu

    Erica – thanks so much for referring me to this article. I’ve caught myself writing the story as early as this morning ;) I’m very grateful to count you as a friend and look forward to reading more!

  • http://www.websitebegin.com Joe Boyle

    To be completely honest, I could care less who you are or what you’re about (not saying it about you, Erica).

    If I really cared about whatever someone is about, or whom they are, for that matter, I’d email you and ask. It’s that simple.

    Great post, anyway.

  • http://www.paleocookbookinfo.com Keith

    Erica,

    I was totally writing the story for some of my potential customers, thinking they wouldn’t want to deal with some guy trying to earn a bit of extra money on the side. Just because I don’t do my freelance work as my ‘full time gig’ doesn’t mean my work adds less value – even if I am less available.

    Your story inspired me to pitch someone today!

  • http://www.securityfirstassocites.com Diane

    Are there any Warning Signs That Your Content Sucks?

    How do you know when you content sucks? Are there any warning signs?

    Thanks

    Diane Griffin
    Author: Everything you need to know about the security clearance process, but are afraid to ask!

  • http://www.businesscards.com Mike

    You’re entirely right: We often “write the story” to support our own fears or rationalizations for not taking action. My most valuable tool to avoid this is to run my business idea/proposal past trusted friends, and ask them what their internal story is when they hear it. I’ve learned much this way, and have obliterated some preconceived notions.

  • http://www.cathlawson.com Cath Lawson

    Hi Erica – This is so true and I’m sure I’ve been guilty of it myself at some point. It’s easy to lose sales by making these assumptions too. How many car salesmen have lost a customer to another dealer because the customer didn’t “look rich” enough to buy a car.

  • http://www.theinfopreneur.net TheInfoPreneur

    hey Erica,
    I agree heartily with not making choices for other people. I’ve ran into this oftentimes with real estate agents, as I present offers to buy properties. “Oh, they’ll never take that offer”….”submit it anyway” I say. they do, and guess what…I get a lot of them accepted. I really try not to make decisions for other people.

    Great blog here. I like your style.

    Brandon

  • http://www.agilnetwork.com Samuel

    Hello Erica,
    I am a consultant in technology and operational risk management. So that ethics and honesty are my principles and main bases. In a world full of half-truths and attempts to deceive, When reading your posts i like the clarity and honesty of your comments. Thanks Erica, you help me confirm my principles and to know that we can all make a better world by working honestly.

  • http://www.vantageestate.com.au/ Vantage

    I’d rather not STRANGLE my business, but good post, lol.

  • http://breathingprosperity.com/blog Shauna@BreathingProsperity.com

    Ouch! You are so right, and I see a lot of commenters here have seen themselves in this as well…mostly it seems we assume our customers have few resources. Yikes! Better to assume they have LOTS and that ours is a perfect solution to that one nagging problem they’ve been having…this really helped, Erica, and will inform some changes in strategy for me. Thanks.