Frank Kern shows off his Porsche.I am at a conference called Mass Control, put on by the venerable Frank Kern. Frank is considered somewhat of a rock star in the Internet Marketing world. (If you’re not in Internet Marketing, when you think about your industry, just substitute some wiseass who has made tens of millions of dollars and thinks Ferraris are pieces of crap, and you get the idea.)
Frank, like many of the Internet marketing “gurus”, got his start in the old days of Internet marketing — which was actually something like 1998, or maybe 1999. Back when, as Frank and the other gurus will tell it, nobody thought it was possible to make more than $100,000 in a day. Now that record has been shattered, and Frank and many of the others who speak at these conferences have made $2 million, $3 million, or even $5 million in a single day from a product launch. Typically, they also all promote other gurus’ products to their huge mailing lists.
As you listen to Frank, or any of the other “gurus”, recount their stories, you can’t help but notice two things: All of the gurus seem to be male, and pretty much all of them are white. At Mass Control, for instance, there aren’t any female speakers, and probably 85% or 90% of the attendees are male.
Today, I was speaking to one of the attendees, and, in a moment of attempted bonding, he asked me the following question:
“Erica, don’t you think Internet marketing is just an old boys’ club?”
I looked at him, surprised. “No, I don’t think so,” I said. “But you have to remember, I came from web hosting.” As I state in my speaking gigs, as far as I know, my company was the only female-owned web hosting company to make over $600,000 in revenue in the first nine months of 2007.
As I thought about it more, however, I realized how insidious his comment was. It would only be said by someone who 1) isn’t successful in this industry and 2) wants to bond by commiserating with someone else of a like mind. His comment is a “mind trap” designed to let him off the hook for his own failure.
The Real “Sucker Punch” That Causes Most of Us to Fail
Frank talked this weekend about negative influences: the news, for instance, which constantly reminds us that we’re in a recession and that people are getting laid off. But there is another, deeper influence that many of us have to deal with, and that is the voice in our own heads that constantly reminds us how terrible we are at whatever we attempt.
That voice is the real sucker punch that causes most of us to fail. It reels you in with “You can’t be like [insert guru's name here] because you’re not [whatever they have already accomplished.]” It can be as simple as “You couldn’t have won the race because you can’t bike like Lance Armstrong” or as deep as “I don’t need to make a million dollars because I don’t want to sacrifice my entire life to my work.” (News flash: Most millionaires don’t, either!)
Whatever your version of these thoughts are — and I guarantee you either have them now or have had them at some point — they stop you cold when you attempt to achieve your goals. If you really want to make a million dollars, travel to 60 different countries, or quit your job, the primary thing holding you down isn’t “The Man”, but your own thoughts and fears.
So, What About Internet Marketing?
Is Internet marketing just an “old boys’ club”? Well, there is sure a preponderance of evidence that it is. All of the speakers here are male. They have already bonded with each other. They all promote each others’ products. They love to sell high-ticket items, shutting out those who don’t have an extra $2,000 to $5,000 laying around.
That’s the story you could tell yourself, and it would be “true” in a sense. But I choose not to participate in telling myself that story, because I choose to make my success or failure my own problem. Instead of using this story as a crutch, I choose to let it empower me. There are no female speakers here? Great: I choose to be the first. No woman has done a multi-million dollar launch in the Internet marketing industry? Thank you; I accept your challenge.
It is an honor for me to be a part of this industry. When I discovered Internet marketing last year, and signed up for Mass Control, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Later, as I spoke at two Internet marketing conferences, I realized what an amazing group of people had found each other. Here were people with similar life goals to mine: work less; make more money; work from anywhere; enjoy life. I have met some of my closest friends and mentors via Internet marketing.
Here is just a partial list of people whom I consider friends. All of the people on this list have made at least several hundred thousand dollars in Internet marketing, and many of them are millionaires. Yet, they are amazingly approachable, friendly, and considerate:
- Pat O’Bryan
- Ken McArthur
- Ben Mack
- Chris Haddad
- Simon Leung
- Eric Farewell
- Adam Urbanski
- Bob “the Teacher” Jenkins
- Carrie Wilkerson
- Steven Wagenheim
- Elmer Hurlstone
- Willie Crawford
- Ross Goldberg
- Jason Moffatt
- Dr. Mike Woo-Ming
- Travis Sago
I am continuously awed by the generosity this community provides. Last year at this time, I remember turning to the person next to me at Mass Control 1 and asking, “What is a continuity program?” (Turns out it’s what us web hosting folks call MRR, or monthly recurring revenue.)
This year, I have built a list, added over 1,000 new subscribers to my blog, and am getting ready to launch my own continuity program, Inspiring Innovators. When I have a question, I call these guys, or ask them on Twitter. If I need help, they are there for me. When I speak with them, I know they are committed to helping me make my next million dollars in this industry. They want me to succeed even when I am down on myself. And really, that’s all I could ask for from any friend.
Shaking Out Your Own Story
There was probably at least one person who read this blog post and is now thinking “Yeah, but Erica, they like you because you’re already a millionaire” or “Yeah, but you’re a cute girl,” or something else that you aren’t. Clearly, that’s why I’m successful and you’re not.
Or maybe it’s just a story you tell yourself to make your failure okay with you. I choose to not accept failure. My story says, “These people are my friends because we can help each other. I am there to support and listen to them, and they are there for me. We enjoy sharing in our mutual successes and encouraging each other to get up and try again when we get knocked down.” Which one is “true”? Well, does it matter?
The real question is: Which story will help you achieve your goals?
Recommended Reading:
- Perfectionism is Your Worst Enemy. My most recent update on achieving my goal of making $1,000,000.00 a year in Internet marketing.
- You Are Worth More Than You Think. Think you can’t afford to hire other people? Think again.
- Finding Time to Pursue Your Dreams: Free Up 750 Hours A Year With One Simple Change. Don’t have time to start a business? Try this on for size.
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25. April 2009 at 4:22 am
Great post.
I often set myself up for this kind of failure by comparing myself to other people.
My path is different than yours, but my goals are similar. Still figuring out the how to accomplish them.
25. April 2009 at 9:02 am
Well said, Erica! And kudos to you for getting off to such a great start in IM.
By the way, I’m female and I spoke at the Paid for Life Event that Frank did with Mike Koenigs in San Diego last summer. Even though I’d never even been to an IM seminar, I managed not to fall on my rear . . . Telling yourself you can do it is half the battle.
The “boys club” can certainly accept women. Mike Koenigs and I are about to launch a product (that will let marketers do surveys) and a continuity program.
So you go, girl! And have a great time at Mass Control!
25. April 2009 at 12:27 pm
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – success is an attitude. If you take the attitude that you’re tops in whatever you do, success is much easier to achieve.
I’ve been making my living online now for over a decade and never compare myself to anyone else. What use would that be? I’m *me* and nobody can beat that. And the great thing is….that’s an attitude that *anyone* can internalize…if they only give themselves permission to view their abilities as something special.
DAta points, Barbara
26. April 2009 at 1:26 pm
I don’t take the “old boys club” comment to mean literally a club for older people of the male sex. It sounds like an expression saying that people succeed through political connections to a small group of people rather than on their merits. The result is about the same as what you said motivated the guy: “I can’t succeed because BLANK”, where in this case BLANK = success is based on connections rather than merit.
This person might have thought your success owes to being part of some “old boys network” that he hasn’t broken into, even though you’re neither a boy nor old.
26. April 2009 at 2:52 pm
Although I see your point, Charles, the simple fact is that people DO succeed because of connections–social networks are enormously important in Internet Marketing, as any other type of business. That’s well documented. But I think what’s key here is that women aren’t necessarily excluded from those networks. As research shows clearly, women need to build strong business networks that connect them not only to other women but also to men, inside and outside their niches.
26. April 2009 at 4:55 pm
Great article Erica! I couldn’t agree with you more. I think our society has an overall negative attitude, which makes people feel connected when they talk about their ‘lack of success,’ which is usually linked directly to their financial accomplishments. I’ve recently found myself wondering why there are so many ’self help’ books, websites, etc.? Do that many people need ’self help?’ Please don’t misinterpret that as an excuse, I’ve had my battles with self-doubt and self-sabotage, and used excuses for way too long, but clearly see the ‘light’ now!
On another note, I just purchased Jeff Walker’s new PLF course/product, and was wondering what you think of his material?
26. April 2009 at 8:39 pm
Thanks for the nudging reminder to keep on the positive path! It truly is failure of fear that stands in anyone’s path more than anything else.
27. April 2009 at 10:21 am
Hi Erica,
Thanks for your great blog post.
You are a great inspiration to me.
Keep up the great work!
Regards,
Saul Maraney
Johannesburg, South Africa
27. April 2009 at 2:54 pm
Howdy Erica!
I’ve been in communications silence last several weeks… necessary for my current round of productivity!
My take on your experience is that you have, for lack of a better term, “experience.” Lot’s of it. Dating from childhood.
Most people only have experience in “being a good employee,” which I am finding *deadly* to entrepreneurial success. Changing that mindset takes time. Actually, I’m sure the mindset can be changed instantly, provided the necessary ground work has been accomplished. It’s this groundwork that may take years.
I’m in a very curious place right now where I realize that I don’t “get it.” I know I’m missing something vital, something critical to success. And I don’t what “it” is.
So I’m putting my faith in the process: writing content, creating products, learning the technology, learning general business skills, and most importantly, learning to _visualize_ success, one step at a time.
I can’t yet say I am materially successful in my approach, but… I’m relatively happy, and I’m making steady progress.
27. April 2009 at 3:43 pm
Just to be clear…
My previous comment addresses that “voice in the head” continually keeping us in our comfortable modes of failure rather than the uncomfortable mode of success!
Back to work…
28. April 2009 at 1:20 pm
Well said, Erica!
Thanks for sharing this story with us. It’s very inspiring!
30. April 2009 at 6:25 pm
It was awesome to spend time “geeking it out” with you there, Erica.
It was really a lot of fun talking about server and hosting limitations, S3 and EC2, real estate, blogging and just about everything else
Stay in touch!
Brent
1. May 2009 at 4:56 am
Hey I think I was part of this conversation. I looked on twitter and typed in #mc2 and saw post you made to this blog entry. Nice blog btw and you have a lot of great articles.
I was in line to register and was talking with you and some fella that was from South America selling learning language material. I got the impression he was doing pretty well.
He asked would it be hard to get into the internet marketing niche and then said he thought it would be, because it looked like an old boys club. Not sure if this is the same conversation you are talking about here, as that is something someone could say again later.
I politely agreed with him and then you disagreed. You said something like the IM people are really approachable and then some other stuff. AFter you talked I agreed with you.
When I agreed with him my thinking was that they obviously know each other and work together. There is a network of them promoting each others launches etc.
However, one thing about the show from many of the people I talked with my impression is that probably 25% of the people attending are actually doing something – making money and applying the material they are learning while most people aren’t doing anything. One guy I talked with told me he had been buying courses for ten years and never did anything.
Kern’s first talk was all geared towards getting these type of peopel to take action.
I always knew there was a good amount of people like this in this IM stuff, but I had never been to an IM conference before so to see it first hand kidna surprised me.
So I think it would be hard to break into it because they are probably getting approached all of the time by people who are pretty much going to waste their time. You have to show that you can do something first I would think and that is where I would say it is hard to break into that circle. But if you are sucessful in the IM niche it wouldn’t be hard to do at all, and probably shouldn’t look to get successful in that niche by trying to latch on to them and get them to help you anyway. HAve some successs first before you try to be a big player or something. This is what I’ve thought after reading your post.
If it is the same guy that made the comment about the boys club I’m not sure if he meant it was a white male thing, at least that didn’t cross my mind when he was talking, but I’m a white male so that stuff normally doesn’t. But looking back guess it was said in a way of reservation of it being almost impossible to get in the IM niche.
Anyway, was nice chatting with you in the line and you have a good blog that is well written with thought provoking stuff on it.
9. May 2009 at 11:28 pm
Lots of great comments here! I am glad you all enjoyed this post.
@Jeanne: We should definitely connect! Glad you’re here.
@Dave Doolin: One thing I find that helps is meeting and hanging out with other successful entrepreneurs. It’s definitely a mindset difference. If all your friends are employees, it’s hard to connect with them and be motivated to kick butt in your business. But if many of your friends are also entrepreneurs (true entrepreneurs — not just people who created jobs for themselves), it really helps.
@Mike Swanson: Very true…it can be difficult because many who approach you are just looking to milk you for free advice (when you are the authority.) Tough to separate out the good ones. I go by gut instinct, but even then it’s hard.
-Erica
26. May 2009 at 12:37 am
Erica, thanks for the great article.
I have seen many friends fall into the failure mind trap in the last few years online. I can see how easy it can be to stay there too. Staying positive and moving forward with a great support group are some of the keys to success.
1. June 2009 at 5:30 pm
Wow Erica, great article and I do like your other blog posts as well!
I too have always believed in the policy for my life “Always look to the Good!”
I am genuinely sorry I did not have the honor to meet you at Mass Control 2 this year.
Would love to connect and talk some business if we can figure out something that works for us both.
Hoping to hear from you soon.
Most Sincerely,
http://www.twitter.com/TanyaChadwick
16. June 2009 at 1:40 am
Erica, I’m a serial entrepreneur. I’ve started 33 businesses; most of them didn’t work out (I don’t use the “F” word to describe what happened to them because they were all incredible learning experiences), but a few did. And I contribute a big part of my success to my circle of friends. ALL my very close friends are business owners, just like me.
I read a book when I was 18 (I’m 52 now) called “The Magic of Thinking Big” by David Schwartz. In his book, he told me that 99% of my success in life has to do with the people that I associate with. When I was 18, I consciously started to ONLY hang out with people that made me feel better about myself after they left. I got rid of those that didn’t.
It worked!!
I’m happy to say that I make my full-time living generated from the internet. And I have to say, you are one of the shining stars in this arena.
Best,
http://www.DryCleaningMarketing.com
P.S. So get rid of all your negative friends and get some new positive ones. It will take some time, but your life will be the better for it.
30. June 2009 at 10:39 am
Great post. But I have say that like golf, Internet Marketing is easy in principle, and extremely difficult to master.
I signed up for Mass Control in Jan. 2008, launched two products last year and both flopped. I’ve probably invested close to $30K in internet marketing between Google Adwords, site development costs, product development, Guru courses and eBooks, etc. I’m on my last leg at this (literally) and this is really my only hope to avoid bankruptcy. Combined with my terrible real estate deal two years ago, I’m looking to Internet Marketing to absolve my debts first and then provide a way for me to replace my 9-to-5 income. I don’t even want the millions the gurus talk about right now, my goal is just to make enough to replace my 9-to-5 income, and even that is extremely difficult to do.
And I assure you, I’ve not been one to read the steps and put them down. I read the steps, do them, and then scratch my head, “why didn’t that work?” I’m definitely missing something here, but its not another course. Perhaps I just haven’t chosen the right niche or provided something my niches wanted.
In any case, I’ve taken what I’ve learned from internet marketing, and turned it into a consultancy for small businesses who want to dominate local search. If I can earn a measly $6K/month from this, then maybe I can start to get back up on my feet. But its easy in principle, and extremely difficult in execution.
30. June 2009 at 10:58 am
@dean — I’m missing something too, but I think I know what it is.
The successful internet marketers are marketers first, and internet second. If there was no internet, they would still be successful marketers.
Here’s a few other things to keep in mind:
* all marketing of any product anywhere is essentially a pyramid scheme of who can get in first and either lock up the market, leaving the crumbs for everyone else, or commoditising the money completely out of it. You can see this in IM with stupendously valuable products now being given away for the cost of monthly memberships. But it works the same way with laundry detergent, etc. (Think about starting a new laundry detergent company)
* Related to the previous comment is that there is an implicit MLM — multi-level-marketing scheme — built into all of this. The first person that gets ahead, stays ahead, everyone else falls into line behind them, getting a radically smaller share of the market at each step.
* The rich get richer. The internet is just exposing this at a much more rapid pace.
* Quitters never succeed. If you’ve only been doing this 2 years, you need to listen to Brad Fallon on one of Eben’s videos: “We’ve been working on this almost 20 years… it’s nice to finally see a payoff.” (After a $13M launch IIRC).
* EVERYTHING is difficult to master. If it wasn’t difficult, anyone could do it.
Ok, these analogies are a little strained I know, best I can do for now.
Looks like I said more than I intended… I’m cleaning up these comments to post on tinobox in a bit.
30. June 2009 at 11:11 am
@Dean — one more comment —
You nailed it with “…or provided something my niches wanted.”
You’re probably pretty close to success. Keep after it man!
24. July 2009 at 9:48 pm
Your a great story. I can learn a lot from you. Will be back for more. Good luck on your mufti-million dollar launch. Need any help?