This weekend, I was in San Antonio, speaking at Pat O’Bryan’s UnSeminar5. Somehow, I had found Pat O’Bryan on Twitter during my recent foray into Internet marketing, and when he announced he had two Erics speaking at his UnSeminar, I told him he needed an Erica, too.
Of course, Pat had no idea who I was, so I sent him an email. I wrote the following:
“I am 26 years old, and recently sold my Internet-based business (a web hosting company) for $1.1 million. I started my web hosting company at age 20, having little or no concept of how to run a business, and very much ‘flew by the seat of my pants’ for a few years!
In a commoditized industry with over 20,000 companies competing in an often cutthroat manner, I grew my business from $0 to over $1 million per year in revenue — without taking on any investors, and while spending less than $25,000 on marketing (most of which was wasted money!)
How did I do it? That’s what I’d like to address by speaking at your seminar.”
That seemed to do the trick, as Pat sent me an email back saying simply, “ok. you’re on.”
I flew out to San Antonio, not knowing quite what to expect. What I got was life-changing–an unbelievable breakthrough.
But let’s get back to the restaurant.
Dateline: Friday, July 25
For dinner on Friday night (the first night of the conference), several of us from the conference went to a local Persian restaurant for dinner. I ordered the shrimp kabob. Our server brought out a salmon kabob instead. I sent it back, since it was obviously an incorrect order, and she graciously apologized and brought out a shrimp kabob a few minutes later.
I assumed all was well until we received the bill, and I didn’t get one. When I asked what was going on, our server said sadly that her manager had forced her to pay for my incorrect order out of her wages. I said that was unacceptable and asked her to bring me the bill. Looking at me with wide eyes, she took my credit card and did so.
I explained to the others at the table what had just happened, and none of us could believe it. Even with close to 20 of us at the restaurant, our average tab per each person was only $12-$15, meaning she would likely only gross a bit over $50 in tips. Putting a $15 dent in that seemed a terrible way to “pay” for an honest mistake she had made.
When our server came back with my credit card, I turned around, looked her in the eyes, and said “I’ll pay you $50 to quit.”
The Moment of Decision
She looked like she hadn’t quite heard me correctly. I pressed on. “No one deserves that treatment. If you stay here, you’re saying it’s okay for you to be treated like that. It’s completely unacceptable.”
She looked around the table to see if this was some sort of practical joke. Seeing nothing but serious faces, she looked back at me. I could tell she was going over the situation in her mind. Finally, she blurted out, “But won’t it be, like, bad karma if I leave?”
“No,” I said.”You’ll be showing respect for yourself. You do not deserve this.” People around the table were nodding in agreement.
“I can’t…” she said, and started to walk away.
“Fine.” I replied. “I’ll up it to $100. And I’ll give you cash, right here. But you have to agree to quit within 24 hours.”
James (another guy at the table) joined in. “I’ll take you out with us if you turn in your notice right now, and buy you drinks tonight.”
“I can’t do that,” she said. Then, almost as an afterthought, she said, “I don’t plan to keep this job much longer anyway.”
I shrugged, left her a $3 tip, and left the restaurant.
The Universe Is Ready To Show You The Way
I relayed this story to several others at the table. As we were walking back to her hotel, Tony Laidig said something I’ll never forget: “I would have paid her $100, too, just to see her take action.”
What’s the takeaway of this story?
You create your reality and circumstances. If you let someone have power over you — especially if that person is abusive and/or making bad decisions — without standing up for yourself, what you are saying to the universe is: “Universe, this abuse is okay with me.” This takes your power away.
When you choose to step up and say “Universe, I’m ready to make my own decisions and not let anyone else control or abuse me,” the Universe sends you everything you need to achieve your goals. In this case, had our server decided to quit, she would have received cash, supportive friends, and most importantly, a feeling of confidence that she had embraced her power.
Taking This Lesson to Heart
The lessons we see that others need to learn are often the ones we need to learn, too. I realized that the core issue I needed to address was to fully embrace my power.
I examined how I could fully embrace my power. I realized that this blog’s header (the paragraph at the top of every page my blog that explains who I am) could use some tweaking. Instead of just saying I am “temporarily retired”, what if I embraced my power and explained that I had sold my business for $1.1 million at age 26? So I changed it.
I then realized that my Twitter profile had the same problem. My profile previously said “opportunity innovation inspiration.” It’s an obscure reference to the names of the new businesses I’m starting, but I realized it was not attracting followers. So I changed it to “Sold my business for $1.1 million. Now I teach you how to make millions — www.erica.biz.”
I gained over 100 new Twitter followers this weekend via UnSeminar5 — but also because I embraced my power and acknowledged who I am.
You are what you acknowledge yourself to be. If you “play it small” and don’t tell anyone your achievements, they will never know what an amazing person you are. They will not be blessed by your presence and energy.
To succeed, you must be ready to show the world what you’ve achieved — and help others up to that level, too. And you must be willing to let go of those who will never acknowledge your power, beauty, passion, and presence.
What can you do today to step up and embrace your power?
Next on my list: Learning how to dance!
Recommended Reading:
- How To Be A Successful, Inspirational Woman
- How To Acknowledge Yourself 101
- The Attractor Factor by Joe Vitale
- Here’s How To Become Rich: Deliver Value. Change The World.
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July 28th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Awesome story…too bad she didn’t take you up on the offer. The idea kinda reminds me of hearing about how zappos.com will give their employees a $1k bonus to quit at any time. This sounds weird, but it’s to make sure the people that work for them really want to work for them. It’s genius in my eyes…
Thanks for sharing!
July 28th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Excellent story. What I enjoyed the most is that you changed your marketing strategy, and changed who your target audience is by changing your product.
Keep accelerating!
July 28th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Okay, okay - you got me. Great post. You make some very good points. I’ll make some changes today. I was doing something similar with my Twitter as well. I recently improved things, but not my bio line. I think I can improve my Twitter page as well.
This year has been all about stepping into my shoes. I’m going to take a look around at all my stuff, with a fresh eye, and see where I can make positive changes that are a better reflection of who I am right now and what I have to offer.
Thanks!
July 28th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Every time I find someone who has chosen a cage for themselves, I look at my own life, to see what my own cage looks like. Sometimes I like what I see, sometimes I don’t. The difference is now I take action when I don’t like what I see.
It’s gonna be interesting. I’ll be unemployed, with no contract obligations come October 1st, just about as the economy is apparently about to slide into the worst recession in 75 years.
Good thing I have no debt and a tidy little pile of cash… should be a lot of opportunity opening up.
July 28th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Wow! Great story! Like your presentation @ Unseminar5 You have taught this ‘old dog’ a couple of new tricks [and they said it couldn't be done] Had she only known the Greatness amongst her just waiting to help - the real tragedy is she has No Idea of her Own Greatness Within! Same as many Lost Souls these days who walk around in a constant state of Hypnosis.
July 28th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
Looking back on my own early career experiences, I can say this is so true. I found myself wasting months at a time at a dead-end job, defending it as just a young professional’s “experience” or “doing my time” while the job market picked up and more doors opened for me. Then something clicked for me and I realized that life is what you make it, your own experiences are what YOU make them to be. And boy do things open up once your brain clears this hurdle. It’s like the Wizard of Oz moment when the screen turns from black and white to color. As soon as I faced this, I was able to secure a job that put me on a six-year path to major professional growth.
While I don’t own my own business yet, I now know that I can start taking steps in this direction when I clear the clutter along the path in my brain that keeps me from getting there. Thanks for the great posts that put these nuances to words and stories that make sense to me.
July 28th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Erica,
What wonderful truths! I was one of those people in the seminar this past weekend. I’m really glad you volunteered to Pat!
As someone whose age is yours in reverse minus a few (come on, you’re a geek…that means I’m more than twice your age!) I’ve seen enough to know how much that wait person gave up!
I learned a lot from you, and you really didn’t have to reach out and give…you just did.
Thank You!
Dale
July 29th, 2008 at 8:33 am
I wish someone would do that for me on my present job. Last week my boss asked my co-worker to stir his coffee because she took too long to bring him a coffee.
Getting another job is too difficult right now but I guess in the moment, when my bosses say humiliating things and I’m about to cry, if someone offered me a good amount of money I guess I would take my shot.
July 29th, 2008 at 8:51 am
I would have quit my job for a nickel. Luckily, about three months ago, I did quit. Despite how thrilled I am about it now, the decision was still incredibly difficult and not one I could have made on the spur of the moment.
I’m thrilled to see you recognizing your power and showing other people how to do the same. You know it’s not about the $1M. But if that bright, shiny number gets people to look your way so you can show them what it’s really about - YAY!!!
July 29th, 2008 at 9:09 am
Erica, while I fully agree with your intentions, it is difficult for me to understand what you did. I humbly beg to differ with your choice of actions.
When a waiter gets my order wrong, I don\’t send it back. I just swallow whatever comes. There is no point throwing away a perfectly good dish.
Enacting social policy one person at a time is quixotic at best and insulting at worst. It doesn\’t work for schizophrenic homeless people and it doesn\’t work for waitresses.
How would you feel if someone a hundred times wealthier than you said, \”hey, you\’ve got lots of promise, but what you need to do to really succeed in life, kid, is dye your hair red and lose fifteen pounds. I\’ll give you fifty grand on the spot if you promise me you\’ll join a gym by this time tomorrow. In fact, why don\’t you drop what you\’re doing and come with me right now? I know a great hairdresser who\’s open. Once you\’re all fixed up I know just the billionaire for you to marry.\”
I admire your decision to get into the Tony Robbins business. But the limit to evangelical zeal, in capitalist self-help as in religion, is that if the customer\’s not ready to buy, you can\’t force it down their throat. Nor can you despise them for being unready.
Like Wade Davis said in his recent TEDtalk, these people are who they are; they are not failed attempts to be you.
July 29th, 2008 at 9:10 am
And no, I don\’t know why all my apostrophes are quoted.
July 29th, 2008 at 9:21 am
thats a pretty informative article. I think one of the reasons people get jobs like that is because they are servile. they don’t think for themselves.
July 29th, 2008 at 11:17 am
Erica,
Beautiful, brilliant, insightful, teaching, well written, powerful, inspirational! All describe the post and all but the well written describe you!
You are a natural at this. Changing lives is what you do. Just your offer changed the life of the waitress, be assured.
I wouldn\’t be surprised if she quit within the next day or two. If she didn\’t, believe me, you got her thinking.
And notice… how many others at that table spoke up to invite the server to leave the job? Plenty followed your lead action, but who did the leading.
You\’re a natural.
Love and Joy!
Amy
July 29th, 2008 at 11:19 am
mmm… I really liked your blog as it was before. Now I feel as if I’m reading just a commercial… AND I really agree with comment #10
July 29th, 2008 at 11:20 am
My apostrophes are weird too. However I know why. I put a name in for Name (Amy~AllAboutEnergy) Yet it was changed to my website URL.
I also was taken to Typepad to log in.
I have a Typepad blog and the name is now the address of my Typepad site!
I am willing to bet that http://mengwong.com also is a Typepad blog!!
Mystery solved!
July 29th, 2008 at 11:58 am
Great article! Personally, I would have dressed down the manager. What he/she did was not only unethical but more than likely illegal.
Not sure that I would walk away from anything for $100. I would walk if I away if I was ready, the $100 wouldn’t motivate me toward action.
An offer of mentoring or some such might have motivated her, as opposed to just quitting and finding a new crappy job…
July 29th, 2008 at 11:59 am
Do you know how much money she would lose if she quit on the spot? Did you offer to help the waitress find a new job? Mentor her to help her get back on her feet in this difficult economy?
You may have destroyed her life by teasing her with that money and luring her into a bad decision. I think she made the right one.
You can talk about how much money you’ve made, that’s great; before you start giving out advice like candy, how many other people have you actually helped so far?
July 29th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
I think what you did was incredibly rude. What $100 means? Is it an alms? What would she do if she took your offer? I realize that in your situation not finding a job for a month or two is not a problem, but there are people in the world who are not in the same position as you. Some of us need to work constantly to pay our bills.
I have very strange feeling that you did it only to show-off. Great job…
(I apologize for my english. It’s not my first language)
July 29th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Wow! I’m grateful to all of you for writing these comments — whether you liked what I did or not.
I want to take a step back and give you a deeper look into why I did what I did. I believe this waitress came into my life for a reason. For most of my life, I had little self-confidence and truly did not believe I was worthy of anything better. Since I did not love myself, I got myself into bad relationships both at work and personally.
I was there because I didn’t realize that I had a choice to NOT be there. That it was my choice to keep taking money for jobs that didn’t really work well for me (and yes, I worked at a restaurant too for a while.)
Many of you who view this critically say that she is not motivated by money, and you’re right. The money isn’t the point of this post, and I apologize if that’s what you got out of the post, because if that’s the case, I didn’t make my true intentions clear.
This wasn’t about $100. This was about empowerment. Helping her realize and acknowledge her power, and showing her that she can transform into something amazing — that she doesn’t have to be held down by crappy bosses or bad policies (no matter how “normal” those policies might be — it doesn’t make them right.)
She was by no means “wrong” to not have taken the money. It was a clear choice on her end. And I don’t fault her for not taking it. What I hoped she’d get out of it is to see that someone that she barely knew cared enough about her to say “The situation you are in is unacceptable, and you shouldn’t have to deal with it. You are worthy.”
Whether she takes the money or not, if she got that message, I didn’t fail.
I don’t consider any part of this a failure, especially since the situation helped enlighten me to stop “playing it small” and acknowledge my power.
I’m at my best when I’m not afraid to show who I am — mistakes and successes; beauty and ugliness. We all contain all of those facets. I talk about my mistakes candidly on this blog, as well as my successes — all to help you become more aware of who you are and how you can help change the world.
Whether she got the message or not — I offered it here so you could. I didn’t go home thinking about whether I was right or wrong to have done what I did — I thought, “There’s a lesson here, and I think I need to learn it, too.” Then I took action, first by changing my blog and Twitter, and then by relaying it all here.
I shared my experience here so you could see how I learned from the experience, and perhaps so that you can learn from it, too. I know not everyone who reads this will get something out of it, but I am encouraged by those who do take it to heart and use it as motivation — as Cynthia (who commented here) did, and as I’m sure many others did, too.
With love,
-Erica
July 29th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Wow. My jaw frankly dropped when I read one of the responses to your post, Erica. Good thing I don’t have a web cam–yet. It would not have been a pretty sight.
I TOTALLY got what you were doing and applaud your efforts in trying to help the waitress understand that she deserves better–that there is a whole other way to approach life. And it’s CLEARLY not about the money or about showing off in front of your new friends. And I certainly did not get the impression from your post that you were in any way judging or criticizing the waitress’s choices.
Have you read the Chronicles of Narnia? They were my favorite, favorite books when I was a kid. Author C.S. Lewis had an amazing talent for getting to the core of the human condition.
In the last book of the series, The Last Battle, Lewis described a fantastical version of Armageddon (sp). and the subsequent end of the world. The faithful found whatever version of a higher power and a happily ever after life in the hereafter that was beyond their wildest dreams, while the nonbelievers scurried off in another direction and were never heard from again.
And then there were the dwarves. Do you remember?
A grumpy group of them sat locked in a self-imposed prison of donkey dung and dirty straw because that’s all their minds allowed them to see. “The dwarves are for the dwarves” was their mantra. All the other characters stood with Aslan the lion (God) in a brightly lit field of flowers, sunshine and grace. The world they knew had ended but it was OK because they were off to eternity.
But the dwarves were only able so see the confines of a poorly lit donkey stable….Even God tried to get them to see the bright field and flowers around them, and provided them with a lavish banquet and good wine, but the dwarves stuck to their version of reality, thinking they were drinking dirty stable water and eating hay.
Like you, I too was stuck in that self-imposed prison–for a LOT longer then you, my young friend. And I can relate to the waitress’s fear b/c I stayed stuck in jobs–even a career path–much longer than I should have. I had a very skewed version of reality that led me to a lot of dark places before finding my way into the sunlight of the Spirit.
YOU were just trying to show the waitress the sunshine-filled field of flowers that any one of us can experience any time we are ready to take that leap of faith. The waitress simply wasn’t ready yet. I hope for her sake that she will be someday soon. You may very well wind up being the catalyst, Erica.
Wishing you peace and blessings. I hope you continue to be true to yourself. You have an amazing gift!
July 29th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Erica,
Since this wasn’t, as you’ve said, “about the $100. This was about empowerment”, and since I think I have a pretty good feel (from meeting you and from all you’ve given) for the heart of you…I would like to suggest that you tweak the header here and the Twitter bio just a bit more. Yes, it is true you “…teach [you] how to make a million…] but what you REALLY do is contained in the bottom line you mentioned: “…become more aware of who you are and how you can help change the world” so I might word it as:
Erica Douglass teaches you to become more aware of who you are, how you can help change the world, and how to make a million in the process:)
July 29th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
@Erica Ross-Krieger - Thank you! That’s excellent. Since it was too many characters to fit all of your suggestions, I changed my Twitter profile to:
“Sold my business for $1.1 million. Now I teach you how to change the world — and make millions in the process! http://www.erica.biz”
I LOVE it!
By the way, if you’re reading this, go check out Erica’s website at http://www.wellnesscoach.com/ — she’s great! (Hey, her name is Erica, too; she can’t be all bad.
@Phoebe - Thank you for the great comment! Seriously, I have read all of these comments and I’m amazed by you guys. You have so much to offer the world!
-Erica
July 29th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Erica,
This is a fascinating discussion. Meng’s point in #10 are good ones. What’s unsaid though is that underlying the wealth yearning is power. Where I have to be careful is where my action in some way makes someone else feel “less than”. It’s subtle point that “helping” starts with the belief that one person is less than in some way and thus must be “helped” by the “more than” person.
The boss here was the bad guy, not the waitress.
It’s possible the kitchen made the mistake, btw.
Here are some other possible actions:
1. Give the waitress money to cover her loss plus tip. This makes her whole. It’s one person *caring* for another. Who cares if the boss gets his money in this instance.
2. Be empathic. The message that comes across while well intended is that the waitress is bad for staying in this job. Offer acknowledgement and compliments. I often pay attention to what’s going on around me. If a restaurant is having a bad day, I rarely take it out on them, instead I’m likely to acknowledge that in a “we all have bad days way.” The human to human connection, for me, is far more important than wealth.
3. Offer your card saying contact me, perhaps I can help you move on to something better.
The thing that the Tony Robbins biz (see #10) does is both offer and play upon people’s hope.
Hope is something special, vital without it people ending up wanting to give up. It needs to be treated as the precious thing it is.
July 29th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
And once again, you’ve given me a lot to think about. Where is my power, what do I need to embrace? What are my weaknesses that I need to release? Hmmmm….
July 30th, 2008 at 9:17 am
Lena,
1. Erica DID pay for the meal and tipped the waitress about 20%–based on a $12-$15 plate.
2. YOUR filters are interpreting Erica’s post as painting the waitress as “bad” for staying in the job. I did not pick that up at all. And, as Erica has said, it wasn’t about the money. Again, you might want to check your own perceptions.
3. Great suggestion.
As for comment #10, I found it to be extremely harsh and judgmental, which is ironic b/c the poster criticizes the author for being judgmental and imposing her own values into a situation, which is not what I interpreted from Erica’s story at all. From my perspective it was an authentic human-to-human connection in which one person was trying to help another person raise her level of awareness–nothing more, nothing less. And if you read between the lines rather than taking the story literallly, if the waitress had been ready to make a different choice, she would have had an automatic built-in network to help her along the path of self-discovery. I’m willing to bet everyone at that table was prepared to befriend and mentor the waitress and show her the path to financial freedom so she would no longer have to answer to such a dickweed boss.
And finally, I have to respond directly to the following statement:
“I admire your decision to get into the Tony Robbins business. But the limit to evangelical zeal, in capitalist self-help as in religion, is that if the customer\’s not ready to buy, you can\’t force it down their throat. Nor can you despise them for being unready.
Like Wade Davis said in his recent TEDtalk, these people are who they are; they are not failed attempts to be you.”
Nowhere in Erica’s story did it appear to me that anyone was trying to force anything down anyone’s throat, nor did I perceive even a hint of condemnation for the choice the waitress made. These are YOUR, IMHO, harsh value judgments and have nothing to do with what actually transpired. And what the heck do you mean “they are not failed attempts to be you”? Ouch. Clearly, to me anyways, Erica was using her own experience to help the waitress reach her own understanding. Just like Gibran says in The Prophet, “No man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of your knowledge….
If he is indeed wise he does not bid you enter the house of his wisdom, but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind.”
I believe in my heart that that was Erica’s intention. And as I mentioned before, all Erica did was plant a seed. I hope it takes root.
Sorry for going on and on, but I thought Erica’s story was incredibly powerful and I guess I’m having a hard time accepting the comments made by the detractors b/c, from MY perspective they sorely miss the mark.
Now I REALLY must get some work done, but this is so much more fun.
July 30th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
I just wanted to say that you’ve really opened my eyes. I am all for empowering women and finding yourself (as you might see from my blog), but this really hit the spot. I think taking action is the most important part of any plan, and you put the dangling carrot on the side of action. I love it!
Thank you so much! I will be coming back!
August 3rd, 2008 at 8:00 am
I think that the pay-to-quit offer was inappropriate and maybe a bit demeaning. A lot of people are “stuck” in jobs that might not suit you or I for financial reasons. The employment and economic markets are tough these days and people have bills to pay. For that reason, sad as it may be, employees often tolerate mistreatment or unfair practices because quitting just isn’t a viable option.
I personally would have taken immediate issue with the management and preferably, ownership.
In light of your rejected $100 offer, perhaps it would have been appropriate to leave it as a tip?
August 3rd, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Even though she didn\’t take the money … you still planted a seed.
She wasn\’t yet quite ready to walk a new path - but she is now more than likely pointed in the right direction!
August 3rd, 2008 at 4:33 pm
I love this story.
Last week I told it to a work friend who was quitting to take a new job. He had stated that he wasn’t sure it would work out - I said at least you’re taking action. We’re all miserable but it takes a lot of courage to take action - whether it’s quitting a waitressing job or a 100k corporate job.
You provided a reality check and some encouragement.
August 3rd, 2008 at 6:13 pm
I love your blog, but this is unacceptable.
Does the waitress have kids whom $100 would feed for a week, but who need momma to be in employment continuously?
I mean, it’s hard to be working class … I have been there most of my life, and you can’t go around offering $100 to waitresses to quit their jobs! What are you? Insane? Just imagine, you are a single mother, with a kid at home, and rent to meet, you have a job in a restaraunt and are making ends meet …
then one night … you get an offer from some 26 yr old millionaire who offers you a measly $100 to quit! What would you do???
I mean, really, if you offered her $400 per week until she found a better job … and help to get that better job, or if you offered her a JOB then that would be OK, but as it stands ,,, erica, you were SHOWING OFF! be humble
tom
August 4th, 2008 at 6:31 am
Let’s look at it from a different perspective. I’ll pay Erica $1,000 to give all her money to charity and take a job with the Peace Corp today (August 4). Just show me the funds transferred and completed paperwork and I’ll send it via Paypal.
Is she going to do it? Nope. Like the waitress, what she’d give up for what I believe would be a more meaningful, better life plus some petty cash doesn’t add up. No water or waitress in their right mind would accept less than one shift’s pay to quit a job, even a bad one. Now, if she had offered $1,000, or $10,000!
I bet the waitress thought “these people are stupid! Why would I take that and lose so much more money?”
And she’d be right. If you actually wanted to help that person, and not make a point for your blog and your new self-help business, you’d give her your card, start working with her and help her out. Or offer more money, enough she actually could quit. But you didn’t, you wanted to see her “do a trick” and the treat was $100. It served no higher purpose than you make you feel good about yourself.
August 5th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
amen
August 19th, 2008 at 10:07 am
I agree with the above two posts. To offer only $100 for a service worker to quit a job during a time when those jobs are increasingly harder to get is tacky and very akin to the “giving the man a fish vs. teaching him how” story. I imagine your intentions were good, but there was also a total lack of sensitivity to her financial condition too. Even if you said, “hey, you deserve better” that probably would have been enough to plant a seed in her head (which I believe was your intent).
I also agree with the idea of giving her your business card and offering to be a mentor, even if it was just an email or phone call or two. That would have been a lot more valuable for both of you.
September 3rd, 2008 at 9:29 am
$100 is nothing to a server. Very bad decision on her part if she did take it. People are servers becasue they need quick cash and lots of it. They cant afford to only make $15 an hour. So we bust our ass and do what it takes to make it through this months bills. $100?? for what? to be unemployed and lose thousands? She probably made about $100 or more that night and has probably gotten $100 tips before with no stipulations about changing/ruining her life for a quick meaningless $100. The point is, I dont understand why you thought $100 would give some girl the self-confidence and be empowered as a woman to not work as a “server”. Whats so bad about being a server anyways. Oh wait thats right, I remember, having to deal with egotistic, self-righteous people that look down on us becasue we are trying to make it through school or support our family or 1000 different other reasons. Or did you think that we were just peasants and had no drive in life at all and thats why we are servers. Get off your high horse.
September 3rd, 2008 at 9:34 am
Also what the manager did is highly illegal. I would like to know what restaurant that is and where?? If you could e-mail and tell me that would be great.
September 11th, 2008 at 2:54 am
I love the fact that you were compelled to shake to woman out of her situation. Your intentions are wonderful! I do wonder though, if you’ve ever been in a situation where you lived paycheck to paycheck. I wonder if you’ve ever had to budget slices of bread to make the loaf stretch for two weeks, to feed more than one mouth. Obviously this waitress has considered changing jobs. What waitress hasn’t? But getting out of the service industry takes a bit more than $100. It takes having a solid plan and a good support system. I know first-hand. Once a hiring manager looks at a resume and sees nothing but service and/or food service positions, the judgment shifts immediately. It’s almost like being in a pit. I agree with the responses calling for mentor-ship. The money is a good start, but actually making a personal-time investment means more.
September 17th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
I’ve learned in my old age (ha! ha!) that what you presented here is a false dichotomy. I decided that I could not tolerate my last job. Not the pay, not the way I was treated, and not the ethics of the place. But, I did not walk out the door and put myself in a position that might require entering another bad situation to pay the rent the next month.
For all you know, that waitress was already at work on the action plan to get her out of there the following month or week with more than one night’s tips and drinks with “supportive friends” who probably would not remember her face the following day.