Great site. Here’s my back link to you:

Camplaign Revisited

I see your point, definitely, but I still don’t think complaining is valid. In fact, one of the things I’ve discovered in the past day of not complaining is that I tend to jump faster into “solution mode” by not having the ability to complain about something. That, or I realize I can’t do anything about it and let it go to focus on the things I can change.

I do get what you’re saying, but I now believe (after watching myself for the past day) that everything you’re talking about can also be resolved by not complaining. It’s a pretty eye-opening experiment. I think 48 hours ago, I might have completely agreed with you.

-Erica

But still, I think there’s complaining and there’s complaining. Sure, it never helps.

Still, lets replace the “job stress”, “government stress” examples with something I’m sure you can relate to. Back when you were building Simpli rather than being “temporarily retired”, did it feel like an uphill battle most of the time? If so, did you never complain?…

What I mean is that sometimes expressing frustration about something results from and further expresses your positive values, ambitions, achievements, goals and indeed choices. (I want to do what I consider good, and in the process am annoyed at everything that doesn’t get out of the way!) As such, where this is the case I consider it part of the positive choice one makes. It doesn’t necessarily mean the choice was bad, because no matter what choices you make, if you feel strongly about them, then this will show in enthusiasm as much as in annoyances. I could be relaxed about say hindrances (your technology examples are good ones I can relate to) only if I couldn’t care less about what I’m actually doing. As an employee, I could get away with that, but as entrepreneurs we shouldn’t be doing things we don’t care about intensely. And that might mean some of our complaints are absolutely valid in the big picture.

Hi Philipp: I don’t know if T. Harv Eker would necessarily agree with that. He states that if you allow negative energy into your life in any way, you sabotage your chances for success. In Person A’s case, I think Harv would say that A has a “money blueprint” that ensures that he will continue to be sabotaged. I tend to side with Harv on this one–we make the choices that determine who we are around. If there are people in our lives who are sabotaging our success, it’s because we made the choice to invite them in. Job stress? You have the choice to change your job. Government? Either get out of the situation where the government affects you that much, or move if necessary.

Harv’s advice (which parallels much of the advice I’ve read in other books) can be a tough pill to swallow sometimes. It forces us to stare ourselves in the face and admit that we lost money because we made bad decisions. It’s not an easy path, but it can be an incredibly rewarding one.

I’d recommend you read his book if you haven’t yet, along with some of the others I recommend, like “The Master Key System.” If you don’t agree with them, no problem. But by reading them, you may gain a deeper understanding of the complex web of choices that creates our reality, and how complaining can actually create the very situations we complain about.

-Erica

Seriously though, there no hard and fast rules for ANYTHING in life. Complaining is not by itself good or bad—it depends on the context, as always, doesn’t it?

Very abstract contrast: Person A is complaining about how his/her demonstrably best efforts and hard work are made harder needlessly by say colleagues or bureaucrats. Person B isn’t lifting a finger and complains only that his/her life isn’t made even easier by everyone else.

Now, do you think anyone would feel indiscriminately equal levels of sympathy towards both kinds of complaining? Don’t they depend on their context to be judged correctly?

I’ve recently decided to take a challenge upon my self to NOT interrupt people. That is hard, but I’m not sure it’s quite as hard as NOT complaining.