A total about-face in one night.

Fri, Feb 18, 2005

Deep Thoughts, Me

So I’m doing the Landmark advanced forum, which is going to be pretty intense. If you’ve done Landmark, you know that it involves a change in your perspective. That’s the best that I can explain it, since the actual changes vary from person to person.

It took me two Landmark forums to realize that I am a powerful person and that I’m hiding that because I think that no one wants to hear it.

A long time ago, my dad told me a saying that was meant to impart the wisdom to not brag about your achievements. He said, “Nobody wants to hear that you’re successful, Erica.” Of course, I took this very personally and have carried it around for some 10 years or so. Every time I opened my mouth to say who I was, that annoying voice in my head stopped me with the words, “Erica, nobody wants to hear it.”

Now that’s silly. But don’t we all do that in a way? We talk ourselves out of the things that matter most to us because we believe that no one cares about us, or that it couldn’t possibly work out well.

I got up in front of 84 people today. The instructor asked who I was, and I opened my mouth, not knowing quite what would come out. What came out of my mouth was the following (word for word):

“Who I really am is a passionate, motivated, kick-butt entrepreneur who is already successful at the age of 23.”

After I said it, I just stood there for a minute with my mouth slightly open, as I heard cheers from the audience. And, for the first time in my life, I knew it was true. I AM a passionate, powerful entrepreneur — running an amazingly successful business that a lot of people could only dream of. And all this at an age when most people are struggling to find jobs that pay more than $10 an hour.

All of the rest of what I portray — my supposed lack of self-confidence; my “aw, shucks” attitude when other people praise me; my “I don’t need anybody” routine — it’s all an act. It’s an act that’s meant to cover up who I really am, all because of that one silly voice in my head that I let stop me from being the amazing person I always knew I was.

Tonight, I am creating the possibility of being an inspiration to others. I am not too young to inspire and motivate other people. I am not too young to get up in front of an audience and motivate the crowd. I am not too young, too naive, or too inexperienced to do anything that I set my mind to and work hard at.

I hope that tonight, reading this inspires and motivates you to do something that you haven’t had the courage to do. Until tonight, I haven’t had the courage to drop my act and be strong and powerful. Until tonight, I thought I needed to hide behind “I don’t need any help” or “Nobody wants to hear that I’m successful.”

I don’t.

The act stops here.

Go out and be that strong and powerful person. The world needs more people who are willing to be independent, motivated, and outgoing. Don’t be afraid to be who you really are. It’s the only way that you will truly shine in this life.

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Previous post in this category: Update re: “Well, this sucks”

7 Comments For This Post

  1. kesuki Says:

    Now that’s silly. But don’t we all do that in a way? We talk ourselves out of the things that matter most to us because we believe that no one cares about us, or that it couldn’t possibly work out well.
    The possible exception being the majority of people on the fortune 500, and the people out there fufilling their dreams, even if they’re not so grand as some other peoples dreams.
    Easy to know, hard to do something about it.. I’m glad you’re doing something about it.

  2. D.J. Capelis Says:

    Start on that last life goal of yours… you’re almost ready.

  3. Josh Marotti Says:

    Eh, I tend to disagree a bit. When people ask what I do, “I work with computers,” not “I’m a Senior Computer Engineer and Analyst.” It just sounds boastful and I feel it sometimes makes me ‘force’ people to respect me. I’d rather they just deem me as a person and I gain their respect the old traditional way.

    But we come from two very different backgrounds. I became successful doing good work, keeping my head down and letting other people realize I was meant to move up. You worked hard and aggressively gaining your respect through aggression (hey, that’s how entreprenuers work, and it isn’t a bad thing). This is probably why you are (probably) making more money than me and I’m 5 years older than you.

  4. kshgoddess Says:

    I think we all do that; I know I can’t take praise very well. I’ve finally come to terms that I’m a creative person, but I don’t ever call myself an “artist”. That’s partially because I had an “art teacher” who discouraged me when I was young, and partially because of general low self-esteem.

    It’s good that you can brag about yourself; it means that you’ve gotten past that ‘I’m not good enough’ thing.

  5. free hardcore hentai picture Says:

    Thanks, I needed something to put a smile on my face.

  6. free lesbian hardcore porn videos Says:

    Thanks, I needed something to put a smile on my face.

  7. Jim Says:

    I haven’t read many “blogs” because it seems to me they fall into two categories. Catharsis and advertising. Yours is definitely in the cathersis category. While I approve of any cathartic therapy if it helps you, is it really necessary to discuss your personal relationships in as much detail as you do in these entries? I applaud your success, but it seems like your success has given you much stress — or your type-A obsessive personality is responsible for both. How many hours a day do you work? Is it worth it?

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