Remember that blog entry I wrote a couple weeks ago (titled “I Will Win”?) In it, I said I’d made the decision to not be depressed any more.

Amazingly, it worked.

Bad things still happen. I still cry. I still get angry. But the depression that was hanging over my head on a daily basis has disappeared.

Of course, you are probably asking “How did you do it?” I am still mulling that over myself. I found that there were a few things I needed to do to stop myself from being depressed.

#1, realize that there are people out there who love me. From those of you who write comments in this blog (I read them all) to those of you who call and make sure I’m okay, there are a lot of people out there who really would care if something happened to me.

#2 (and this was the huge one) realize it was okay to be happy. I know this may sound strange to some of you, but something in my brain was seriously telling me “You should be depressed.” My normal response to it was “Why?” This, of course, evoked a flood of misery as it explained to me why my life was a horrible failure.

I figured out that the right response to this was not “Why?”, but “No, I shouldn’t. Shut up.” And it worked! The thing actually listened to me and shut up! I still hear it every once in a while; it’s there, reminding me that I should be depressed. But now I simply ignore it. I have regained the power and control in my mind, and now I am a lot happier.

#3 (and this one really works, too; try it sometime!) My friend Jan had me buy this book called Blink. It’s a fascinating book and worth the read anyway, but the best part was where the author revealed that a study showed that smiling or laughing on the outside (even if you have nothing to smile or laugh about) is just as effective as actually having something to smile or laugh about. That is, it produces the same “happy hormones” that a true laugh does. This one works amazingly well. Sometimes I just smile to myself and I feel myself getting happier.

The final step is to get myself out of relationships and situations that make me unhappy. While this is a longer, more involved process, I can now recognize what those situations are and who they involve, and I will continue to distance myself from them. At the same time, I’m forming closer bonds with my friends who truly do make me happy and make me love life.

I am surprised (and somewhat amazed) that all of this depression hanging over my head, that at times seemed so large that it would be impossible to deal with, was really the result of the tiny voice in my head saying “You should be depressed! You have so much to be depressed about!” It’s even hard to write about, because as I write about it, I feel it there, itching for me to ask it “Why?” But I refuse. And I smile… because, in the grand scheme of things, my life is going pretty well, and I want to keep it going that way.

🙂

EDIT: I also wanted to add that it’s worth remembering that no matter how good or bad your life is, it’s always your choice to be depressed or happy. This is an important realization as well. You can blame your unhappiness on the outside world and the many times it’s f*cked you over, or you can realize that everyone else wades through piles of crap as well and that you’re going to make the best of it. The second choice is the only one that will make you happy in the long run.

I posted a tongue-in-cheek “Geek Dating Advice” post to Slashdot. I called it “But seriously, SHOWER!” I took it half-seriously. And no, please do not email me and tell me that you are the right person for me because you shower regularly. 😉

I was talking online with a friend when he mentioned he had a date with a girl he’d met on Match.com. Being the curious type, I signed up for a free account and read his profile. It is funny, because you think you know someone, and then you read their online profile, and you think “Who is this again?!”

I promised him I’d do my own online profile, except I am not going to pay money to put it on Match.com, so you, dear blog readers, get to read it. And in case I feel the need to pay to find dates in the future, I’ll probably put it up there on Match.com. 😉

Let’s see. Ah, yes. The first section on Match.com is “About Me and Who I’d Like To Date.” Hmm…

I can say with confidence that I’m unlike any other person you will ever meet. I’m an ambitious entrepreneur who isn’t afraid to risk everything in a new business venture. My risk has been met with good rewards so far, as I am the owner of a successful web hosting company. However, being a successful business owner also has its drawbacks, as I spend too much time on my computer and I work strange hours. Expect to see me work 14-18 hour days sometimes and want to take several days off and just go driving other times.

I would like to meet someone who can draw me out of my shell. I know that I work too much and I need someone who will bring some fun social activities into my life. I’d like to learn how to dance, for instance. I love driving around winding roads and getting sunburned, I love overnight trips to the coast, and I love spending time on the beach. I’ve even been known to hit a few golf balls in my time! I enjoy being outdoors, but I don’t get an opportunity to go out there often, so if you can get me out of the house and doing something fun, you will work well with me.

I enjoy surprises immensely (especially of the “Pack your bags; we’re headed out for the weekend!” kind) and I really appreciate guys who give me small tokens of affection (as I will with you… my close friends get free food whenever they’re around me; it’s a gift of appreciation from me.)

Expect to constantly be bombarded with ideas when you’re around me — if you can take my crazy, spontaneous ideas and help me craft them into workable business ventures, or say why you think they’re not workable, this helps me immensely! I have a lot of energy and enthusiasm for whatever my idea du jour is. I need someone who can keep up with me and even help temper me (with a smile) as I bounce from idea to idea to idea. Above all, I am looking for someone who shares the same passion for life that I do, and truly enjoys living and all of its nuances. It would also help if you can cook… I am a terrible cook!

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That was actually more fun than I thought. There you have it… enjoy, and feel free to analyze! 😉