•  

This would be a lot easier if…

4 Comments

Topics: Deep Thoughts, Me

…there was actually someone here who understood me. One of my friends here is 8 1/2 months pregnant and obviously has more important things to focus on than hearing me talk (I don’t begrudge her that.) My other friend here in the Bay Area insists on deriding IBI and anything associated with it, and isn’t really listening when I explain things to him. He didn’t even have any comment when I showed him an excerpt from my new book… just “Sorry, I’m busy.” He hasn’t bothered to ask how things are going with me or if there’s anything he can do to help, even though I’ve asked him how I can help him several times recently.

I hate the feeling that no one cares. I hate it. I haven’t had a good long in-person conversation in way too long. I can write things in my blog, but it’s all too much like talking to a blank wall. I don’t know how I am going to get through this. Every morning when I wake up, everything just hits me like a sack of rocks and I feel sick to my stomach. It’s too painful. Half of me just wants to give up and half hangs on in the hope that it will eventually get better.

I need to make the pain go away.

Email This Post Email This Post   | Print This Post Print This Post

Previous post in this category:

Posted on Wednesday, November 17th, 2004

  • Seth

    I’m sure people who care read this… heck, you don’t even know me and I’m reading it. (Read some of your comments on slashdot, saw you ran a business, checked it out, thought it was cool, added you to my friends list, read your journal on there from time to time, which leads me here.) Being lonely sucks, I know it; been there, done that, didn’t even get a t-shirt for my trouble. So… um, yeah… hi! =)

  • andrew

    this Fan cares, fwiw. hang in there.

    (and simpli rox, btw, but you knew that.)

  • willfe

    [cliche mode] You’re not as alone as you think you are. [/cliche mode] Seriously though, it may not be coming from who you’re hoping for, but there is support and love waiting for you when need it. I probably sound like a broken record at this point, but you can IM, call, or write any time; as long as I’m around you’ve got at least one kind ear and shoulder to lean into.

  • http://paradice.net Louie

    Well, some members of IBI like what they have and make things happen, and some give it a shake, and if it doesn’t work – it must be IBI’s fault (is what I run into most of the time). Keep at it! You’ve got my email if you need anything!